2 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes
by liquidgarnet
Summary: POST FINALE- Jude managed 2 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes before the taste of regret rose like bile in the back of her throat.


Jude managed 2 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes in London before the taste of regret rose like bile in the back of her throat

Jude managed 2 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes in London before the taste of regret rose like bile in the back of her throat. Exhausted from jet lag and switching from bouts of nausea to overwhelming hunger, she couldn't stop what was about to happen. She called him. Weak willed and near tears, crumpled in the way too big bathroom attached to her hotel room. It was dark outside which meant it would be daytime there, at least she thought, her mind a jumbled mess of time differences, too much beer and not enough food. When he answered she let out a breath and immediately started sobbing.

_8 hours, 57 minutes_

Stepping off the plane and into the limo, her nerves felt like glass, ready to shatter with excitement and complete and utter fear. Everything was new and beautiful, her eyes couldn't take it all in. Jude had managed a whole five minutes of not thinking about Quincy, blocking out the look on his face as she left him.

"Gotta do this without the crutch." Her fingers itched to latch onto his, hold on for dear life, but for the first time in years he wasn't beside her. All alone she took in the bustle of London, about to succumb to the evening hijinks she knew it was famous for. The dread that settled in her stomach was something new and she squirmed hoping it would pass. It didn't.

_1 day, 10 minutes_

The paparazzi obviously expected her, she'd been dodging cameras all of the night before. She'd forgotten just how cruel they could be. Putting down the tabloid, she took a halfhearted bite of her toasts, not hungry in the slightest. Independence meant being able to deal with being called a 'talent less hack' or 'drunk Yankee' even though being Canadian made her anything but a Yankee. Jude stopped herself from reaching for the cell propped beside her on the table.

_1 day, 4 hours, 53 seconds_

In the booth, she could be someone else, anyone other than the fish out of water, the girl too far away from home, trying not to be heartsick. She wanted to say it didn't matter, that she didn't miss Tommy every second, but even when it wasn't at the forefront of her mind, it was there, a little niggling that something was off. An empty space next to her, an unfamiliar face staring at her through the glass of the control room. It all meant she didn't belong, not here, maybe nowhere.

Jude spent most of her life fighting to be different, hanging onto her dreams even as they seemed so far off. She'd been treading water in high school, wanting to be anyone else in the world. Wasn't it funny that Tommy was the first one to make her want to be herself? As tricky as it sounded, he made being Jude Harrison cool, unique but in a good way. He raised her from the shy girl hiding behind blunt bangs, to an artists in her own right. And she'd left it all behind, running towards dreams of being a rock star like they mattered, it was all just surface and she'd made the mistake of thinking music was all or nothing, thinking having hoards of paparazzi was special. Stupid Jude. Independence was one thing, running away to a dream of a fabulous life, made of fairytales that never seemed to come true the way she dreamt, was the wrong choice.

_2 days, 2 hours and 45 minutes_

Jude drank a little too much, ducking her head against the flashbulbs and very carefully stepping into the car. Knowing the last thing she wanted was video of her tripping or even staggering slightly. Her head swam with the heady smell of alcohol and cigarettes that clung to her clothes and skin, branding her. She could see Tommy so clearly in her mind, shutting her eyes she could almost feel herself give over completely, letting it be real. Digging into her pocket she grabbed the dinky napkin, he'd fashioned into a ring, looping it around her finger, it felt scratchy and uncomfortable but at least it felt like something. Tears pricked at her eyes and she rubbed them away in frustration, knowing she should be strong, but giving into the Tommy waiting for her in the corner of her mind, was too much to resist.

_2 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes_

"Girl, what happened?" Jude tried to catch her breath to get actual words out, but her throat closed with sobs, aching all over she curled further against the wall. Everything was too bright here, the light bounced off every gleaming tile and she closed her eyes, letting his voice overpower every sense. She missed him, she missed Sadie, Spied, Jamie, hell even Karma and Darius, they were so ingrained in her life, in the idea of home that she could barely breathe thinking about them.

"I made the wrong choice, Quincy."

_3 days_

She stood in Heathrow airport, half awake, her body buzzing with excitement. When she finally saw him, bedraggled and half hidden beneath a ball cap, the air whooshed back into her lungs. She didn't even realize she was holding her breath. The minute she was in his arms, she latched on tight and refused to let go. She hadn't realized before that a crutch held you back, an anchor weighed you down, but a buoy rescued you, kept you afloat. Tommy was a buoy. After 4 years of dancing around each and the enormity of what they had, Jude finally accepted the inevitable, he was half of her, a half she'd spent sixteen years looking for, and way too long trying to push away.

"So rock star where to?"

"Home. And Tommy?" He looked down at her, "yeah?"

"Lets stick with Harrison, I think rock star is a little… someone else." She shrugged reaching up to pull him close, trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth at the thought of what she'd almost given up for that word and whatever it meant.


End file.
